busy busy tuesday....but of course..time to blog.....with everything i have to do today..all the meetings..all the worship planning..i'm overwhelmed...so i need an outlet...i need to blog...so here are my deep thoughts for today..
I just got off the phone with Jamie..i love you j....i love talking boys..talking ministry...talking life.......
I realized today what God is doing IN me here and THROUGH me...those being 2 different things...the latter I always know i guess..I know He is going to work through me to accomplish His purposes for His church here in Bakersfield.....he uses my gifts and talents and leadership stlye to build a ministry....to teach, to plan, to sing, to lead worship, to mentor artists, to lead a small group...etc.....
But it's what He is doing IN me...that i forget about sometimes......i was telling jamie...this whole venture here in cali was no doubt what God wants me to do...but i think the glamour/fantasy of this ideal job has faded...because it's much more than that.....i've realized how different it is to be leading worship in a new church as oppposed to an established church where the majority "gets worship"....I could list the differences for hours..and my preferences...but instead i will tell you that it has made me realize who I am as a worshipper..who I am as child of God...who I am as a 25 yr old in full time ministry....
I've come to the conclusion...that I have so much to learn about what it means to worship....i contemplate whether i am energized through the crowds reaction...or if i am energized through an encounter with God....? and am i truly worshipping, if I am not encountering God privately..in my day to day......
I want my worship, my ministry...to be an overflow of what God is doing IN me......
i dont know if i want organized church....i dont know if i want meeting....or planning sessions....or budgets.....i think i just want to worship...i want my life to overflow with the love of jesus.....that's what i want....
and i dont think i even care where that takes place...in a church...in a bar...on the mission field....does it matter?
just my randomness for the day....back to meetings, back to planning, back to budgets......
somebody please call me the day our generation does 'church' ...the way it was meant to be...living life together....acts 2 style....daily worship.....
I just got off the phone with Jamie..i love you j....i love talking boys..talking ministry...talking life.......
I realized today what God is doing IN me here and THROUGH me...those being 2 different things...the latter I always know i guess..I know He is going to work through me to accomplish His purposes for His church here in Bakersfield.....he uses my gifts and talents and leadership stlye to build a ministry....to teach, to plan, to sing, to lead worship, to mentor artists, to lead a small group...etc.....
But it's what He is doing IN me...that i forget about sometimes......i was telling jamie...this whole venture here in cali was no doubt what God wants me to do...but i think the glamour/fantasy of this ideal job has faded...because it's much more than that.....i've realized how different it is to be leading worship in a new church as oppposed to an established church where the majority "gets worship"....I could list the differences for hours..and my preferences...but instead i will tell you that it has made me realize who I am as a worshipper..who I am as child of God...who I am as a 25 yr old in full time ministry....
I've come to the conclusion...that I have so much to learn about what it means to worship....i contemplate whether i am energized through the crowds reaction...or if i am energized through an encounter with God....? and am i truly worshipping, if I am not encountering God privately..in my day to day......
I want my worship, my ministry...to be an overflow of what God is doing IN me......
i dont know if i want organized church....i dont know if i want meeting....or planning sessions....or budgets.....i think i just want to worship...i want my life to overflow with the love of jesus.....that's what i want....
and i dont think i even care where that takes place...in a church...in a bar...on the mission field....does it matter?
just my randomness for the day....back to meetings, back to planning, back to budgets......
somebody please call me the day our generation does 'church' ...the way it was meant to be...living life together....acts 2 style....daily worship.....