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opening day for major league baseball.......

makes me mad i live in cali and am a cubs fan......i'm stuck watching the pitch by pitch on ESPN.com.....i miss my wgn....i gotta get cable soon...i will not survive the baseball season....

the crazy weekends in ministry...everything builds up to them..and then on monday you crash.....take a deep breath and get ready for the next one. big shocker..i lost my voice again this weekend....too much singing..too little sleep....and my first spring with allergies in cali.....and for those of you about to say "go the doctor"..i am...i have an appt on wednesday...thought you'd be proud...

is it bad to think that you aren't cut out for full-time ministry? when i find myself dreaming about what i really want to do....it's not this....is that bad? (i trust all my readers as great friends...and hope you don't freak out at this....i just want to spill what's on my mind/heart.) dont' get me wrong..i'm completely blessed to have this job....and sometimes i feel like it's successful...but most of the time..i feel like i'm not the right person for the job.......and yes, i know that's Satan's whispers..and that's exactly what he wants me to think........
i know i was called here to be right here right now...but sometimes i wonder how long that will last....or when God will call me somewhere else....i think about the high expectation of leadership..and i don't know that i even live up to that.....or even aspire to that some days.....(monday ministry thoughts are dangerous i know).....so anyway that is what's on my brain today......

thanks jamie for your reminding words about a month ago that go over in my head all the time about what we learned in a class i obvioulsy wasn't paying attention in.......you said that "sometimes that only thing that keeps us in ministry is our calling"

so for today..i stay...cause i do know i was called......

God,
i pray you would continue to guide my life...my ministry...my relationships. I pray you that i would be so close to You that i could hear you whisper the answers in my ear...
Amen